June 17, 2010

My Crush and me

Do you have a crush?

Ha that's a fun question to ask! No I don't mean like Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie I mean like an "in-awe-of" crush. I ask because I do. There is a Chrisitian speaker that blows my mind. I get SO exctied when I find that he is going to be speaking. I have to admit that I'm a bit like a teenage girl at a boy-band concert. Many know if this crush I speak of and can attest it that. I choose not to name him just incase one day, by some very off chance, he sumbles upon my ramblings and sees that. I'm mean how embarrassing would that be?!?!

Now, I'm positive that if I walked up to him and said, "His name here I am so in awe of your speaking and your testimony" he would be so very humble and pass the glory to God. Most of those doing God's work would do just that. They stay firmly behind the cover of Jesus, because really why would anyone want to step out from behind His glory and show our true sinful filth?

There are many women (and men too but mostly ladies) in my life that I admire and look up to, not quite the crush stage, but highly esteem. I often find myself comparing me to them, seeing if I measure up. Usually I get a big red FAIL stamp. I haven't prayed enough, or read the bible everyday, shown the right Godly attitude and well you get the point. I end up feeling miserable and at the bottom of a very steep seemingly insurmountable hill. I wonder, do they look at others thinking those same things?


All this leads me to my very favorite verse. It scrolled across my thoughts. It is Zephaniah 3:17 (I like to change the you's to me's to make it personal):

"The Lord my God is with me,
He is MIGHTY to save.
He will take great delight in me,
He will quiet me with His love,
He will rejoice over me with singing."

Not only does He SAVE me but I delight Him. He will quiet me, and here I'm all wrapped up about being such a loud person, God can take care of that.

Then when I'm quiet (finally) He SINGS. Can you imagine? WOW! If that isn't a pick-me-up then I need some serious intervention!

This verse insists that I stop my ridiculous comparison of myself. God loves ME. The talkative, loud-laughing, ocd, just-as-I-am ME! So I'm gonna keep my crush and keep looking up to those amazing women in my life while assuring myself that I don't have to measure up to them I've got my own height chart.

1 comment:

allie :^) said...

amazing! i LOVED the stepping out from behind the cover of jesus and showing our true, sinful filth. i think you are a prophetess!

you should compare yourself to me, you'd feel really good about yourself! i am not the typical church lady and do not spend alot of time reading christian literature, or even the bible. i have my reasons. i also have a raw and real faith. certainly not perfect, extremely atypical but like you, i know god meets me where i am. :)

ok you gotta tell us...who is it?