Panties and poop

Really what's this about? you may be wondering.  Having one who is not quite to the stage of 100% potty independence (see title to get the idea) and one still not night time ready, I deal with bodily functions quite a bit.  Soon I get to begin this process anew ~ y a y ;)

I have come to have a great dislike for poop.  It's gross, it smells, it can just get everywhere ~ you understand and if you say you don't ~ you lie...so how do I teach my daughter to take care of this on her own?  Keep in mind that this question comes from a mom who hesitates to let them eat messy things with no help (I know, eating and poop in the same paragraph probably a huge faux pas ~ eh well one begets the other ).   Also I don't understand those who have said that they (for lack of a more tactful way to say it) don't check to see if they have the all clean.  I mean really...how is that sanitary?  Doesn't that make for skidd marked panties (or underware if you will)?

Speaking of panties...another thing I have a dislike for.  Both of my girls think panties are fabulous, a fashion statement of sorts.  But I disagree.  First ~ the fit...why are there so many options...maybe because one's backside can come in all sorts of shapes and sizes but really a little string thing seems to be a waste of money.  If you're looking for something sultry, well, I can think of cheaper alternatives.  And thongs (or what ever they may be called now) have NO place in a children's clothing store, that's absurd. 

Second ~ the location.  Why must the bra/panty section be on the edge near the main "traffic/walk way" in stores?  Does everyone need to know the print I like or the cut I prefer?  I mean we're good friends and all but I don't think so...not to mention that those in the store with me aren't usually my friends, just fellow shoppers.  Now I realize that there are specialty stores for my skivies, but I'm not shelling out the amount on the price tag. 

So in summary (ooh I feel like I'm in my English lit class now) I am confounded by area of my personal self.  If I could get one free ridiculous question to ask of God it would be what was He thinking when He designed the neither regions :)

I understand that this blog may have been on the TMI side and you may be trying to figure out how you can get some soap in your eyes with out the burn after reading it, but hey this is me and you like me right? I'm glad you made it all the way through ~ hopefully you'll be back for more ;)

Confession from a pregnant woman

So my confession…I’ve been eating horribly.  I’ve eaten out more in the last month than I have in many, many moons.  While I understand that, “Oh you have a reason to eat what ever you want right now,” I also know the following:

• I am really not the exercising type.  Yes I play Wii fit (did you catch that I said play) and will be walking with some friends in the morning (goodbye sweet sweet sleep, I shall miss you)
• I wasn't uber skinny before any of my kids
• I am not giving birth to a 30lb baby (Savory don't be wishing 80lbs on me again!)

This being said I am not trying to diet.  I just am convicted of what I've been putting in my body and how I have neglected my family and myself by avoiding cooking.  A few indulgences are good, I'm not going to swear off anything but I am going to tip the scales (speaking of food scales here) in the other direction.

I’m going to do my very best to eat at home and eat better.  So when I'm talking to you and mention we should go out...hold me accountable ;)

P.S. I wish there were cooler fonts on blogger.

Bad day

Have you had one of those days?  You know those days that someone points out several mistakes you made and then you yell at your loved ones and your bank account isn't overflowing with joy at the sight of you...yesterday was that day for me. 

Today is better but, man, I sure didn't feel like I had been worthwhile at all when I went to bed (even though I homemade chicken tikka masala and naan).  I wonder why we are our hardest critics?  I mean I know what makes me think ill of a person or "judge" them as it were (alot ~ but that is a conversation for a personal encounter, over coffee perhaps), so why do I think that everyone else is meaner/harsher/stricter?  Some may have just said, "Because they are".  Nah really they're not.  The majority of humans are just as insecure and expert self second guessers as you and I.

When I have a day like yesterday I, almost instinctively it seems, begin to think how much I screw things up and now I'm probably going to be in trouble and I'm just no good.  Really?  I know that most of that is just rubbish.  I do mess up, yes, but my "in trouble" was just having the mistake pointed out so I could fix it and I'm not really bad either. 

Another question...why is it sooooo easy to remember that one little bad thing and forget the tons of good things?  This past weekend was AWESOME!!  My family had a great time with two other families this weekend and got some tasks done.  Then y e s t e r d a y...did I think about my weekend at all...nope.

Ok well today I'm craving sweets so soon I shall find something to alleviate that need ;)

Moments in the dark place

I sometimes wonder how I got through the previous day. When I felt like I was camped out in that dark mental place and wanted to nothing. Everything is blah and that horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach is relentless. There is no flavor in life at that moment.

No one notices. Because I don't let them. If I did that I wouldn't stay in the dark. Or if they notice I assure them things are great. My pity party has commenced, only one will be admitted. I get that pity parties are just about, if not the most selfish state one can be in.  But sometimes it just doesn't matter.

It's like a fog that encompasses you mentally.  Sometimes real fog can be soothing...but after a bit when you're supposed to make it somewhere, or in this case be something you, just can't seem to navigate.  Time seems to crawl and though your destination is feet from you, you just can't make it.  So you sit down and wait for the fog to clear.

Typing this right now I can't really say what gets me to get back up and continue forward.  There isn't an exact phrase or motion that propels me but something inevitably does.  This being said, I cannot fathom being stuck day after day in this place, this dark, lonely, mentally incapacitating place.  It makes me love those who are there that much more.  I'm thankful that my "trips" tend to be moments rather than the alternative.