We could all use a little...change.

Currently I am in transition, in many ways now that I think about it.  Our family will expand this year, we are seeking a new church/place of worship, I'm adjusting to changes in friendships and family, a new schedule for my family and so on. 

But, did I mention, I really don't like change, well I like this kind of change but not this.  Granted there aren't oodles of people out there just jumping at the chance for a change in their life but there are some.  I don't even like when my favorite lipstick is discontinued (I know I don't paint my nails but I have a favorite lipstick), I just don't like change.  Change is so intimidating to me, so cold and permanent.  It seems to rip away important things and leave behind something raw and unprotected.

In hindsight, though, I can see a different side of change.  Change also molds, and shapes us...sometimes by hacking large chunks off but sometimes by smoothing the roughly hewn edges and splintered joints.  When my husband and I left my hometown to move here I was in shock, like bouquet of flowers cut off from their roots and stuck in stagnant water on display.  I left everything knew and grew up with ~ family, best friends, jobs ~ what was comfortable...to go somewhere new.  If you've read my anniversary blog then you know how bittersweet this was but how then end result was/is an amazing family and a great relationship with my husband. 

I feel that once again change is in the air.  As we try different churches, I am that new person.  Relationships that once were thriving are now out of sight out of mind (me being the one out of sight).  My roots seem short and brittle and my instinct is to dig in and resist...to fight the change.  But like the changing tides this is a futile task that will only result in more harm to me than anything else.  Maybe I'll think like my little four legged friend Ollie and sniff out the new, investigate it and just decide to greet it with a smile!

Check Engine Light

The other day I was lamenting to my sister over medical bills, I should have known better.  Then next morning as I was driving my girls to their nanny I see my check engine light come on!!  Talk about getting my heart rate up...that should have counted as cardio exercise.  My girls, oblivious, continued their barrage of "How do you spell..." questions as I began repeating my mantra "Please don't blow up" in my head all the while attempting to cheerfully continue our conversation.

Later that day, when I headed to lunch, I started my car and closed my eyes thinking that maybe, just maybe, the light would just go away.  Nope.  The orangeish, vaguely engine shaped light, was still shining up at me.

I find it funny how this little symbol can be so menacing yet so vital.  I mean, raise your hand if you like the check engine light to come on...oh yes I see that hand, and that one, bless you ~ oh wait wrong lesson.  I honestly think that no one does.

I've thought alot about my check engine light.  I think back on relationships, purchases made, food eaten, words spoken, and wonder where was my check engine light?!?! Maybe that's part of the spice in life, not knowing what's to come...it definitely makes hindsight 20/20.

I am a worrier...earlier in life a BIG worrier. My husband has really balanced me out in that department. I still worry, just not as much. I've accepted that very few things come with a "check engine" light and as a wise man has said "worry is just experiencing a crisis before it happens." Guess I'm trying to live by that ~ there are already enough crisis going on to frivolously add more.

So I'll seek out a good repair person (thank you Autozone for free diagnostics) once I know what the problem is.

P.S. Only 15 days til my hubby starts his eariler shift!  Woohoo!!