Lessons from a customer service veteran

I have worked in customer service my entire working life. Waitress/sales person/bank teller/customer service dept/cafe manager/customer service call center/jewelry sales person/ etc. At least once in my working day I have an encounter with a customer that I wish I had the liberty to teach them that is not the way to get good service.

Today I'm blogging to share some of these experiences. Customer service is about making the customer happy ~ if you think you actions would make me not want to do that you should pick a new plan of action. If one of the following customers are you please don't take it personally, others may benefit from your poor choice of actions.

1. Don't call someone while you're eating. Decide which is more important and do that first.
2. If you ask if there is another of something and I tell you no, I'm not lying so you'll buy something that you don't really like. I want you to be happy - returns don't make for a profitable company. Also asking another sales person doesn't make it magically appear in the store.
3. If you're unhappy about something (product, service, charge) I totally get that, I get upset too. However yelling at, degrading me or my employee/co-worker, exaggerating, not letting me talk, etc, does NOT make me want to help you.
4. Don't call while you're in the bathroom. See #1. That's just wrong on so many levels and could possibly warrant its very own blog ~ bathroom etiquite.
5. If you bring back a cold food product that clearly shows that it expired 2 months ago and then tell me you want a refund because it tastes bad ~ even if my manager overrides my decision that doesn't make me think you're any less of a moron and a thief of my company's profits.
6. If the restaurant door says the restaurant is open 10a - 9p that doesn't mean that because the door is open you should come inside and stand at the register until someone helps you. The employees have to get in somehow.
7. If there has been bad weather (snow/storm/etc), I don't believe you when you say "I can't believe you had to work today" because you obviously came to my work/called in thinking that I should be there.
8. If I answer the phone stating the name of the business and my name don't then ask "Is this insert company name I just said here?"
9. Don't be angry at me for enforcing the policies that the company I work for. I too have bills and a family so I won't risk losing my job because you don't agree with a price/charge/rule.
10. If you're calling to obtain some information (phone number, amount, date) have something to write with and on.
11. Please pleae please don't tell me all your ailments/personal issues/situations. I can't help that you're on you period/kids take your mail/spouse cheated and left. Tell me what you need me to help with and then call your dr./friend or counselor and let them know the other issues.
12. Knowing that you're related to or know someone I work with doesn't change how I treat you. My job is to give you my best everytime ~ don't assume I give crappy service as the norm.
13. Humans make mistakes ~ deal with it.
14. I am not your personal accountant/account manager. If you don't understand your account balance don't bring me your statement saying "Tell me what's wrong." You have have the responsibility to keep track of that. You are not the sole customer of the company I work for so I can't pay special attention to your account ~ so no I don't call you after every transaction or lack-thereof.
15. Don't take liberties with my name ~ I don't take liberties with yours.
16. If you call and say you only speak Spanish and then I tell you in Spanish that my Spanish is iffy at best and ask if you speak English it frustrates me when one of the following happens: you say yes and begin to talk in English, or you start to talk very rapidly in Spanish. You lied in the first instance and the second I already told you my Spanish isn't great please don't talk like it is.
17. I'm not your hon, sweetie, darlin, babe, or any other "cute" pet name you'd like to call me. Ma'am or my name (see #15) will do just fine.
18. Just because I work in customer service I am not a 411 service. If you want the number to pizza place you may have to gasp try a phone directory.
19. I'm not appologizing for your trash not being picked up on Thanksgiving.
20. Waitress should not include picking up 90% of your child's meal from the floor, cleaning up your child's throw up, or ordering for your child. Welcome to parenthood.
21. Don't be rude if I market my company to you. If you do not want solicitors - post it or place your number on the do not call list, otherwise my job is to sell my company to you.

I could go on and on but decided to stop at this point. The old saying "You catch more flies with honey" is totally true. When you are honest and upfront you can bet I'll work even harder to make you happier. So please when you are the customer be like the honey not the vinegar.