Today has been and emotional roller coaster. My husband and I grew up in the Joplin, MO area and are just heartbroken over the devastation there. Seeing places where we grew up, played, when on dates together ~ where our friends and families work and shop and live ~ completely destroyed is surreal.
I want to be there helping...taking care of those who have nothing and are in far greater shock than I, but realitsically, an emotional, 6 month pregnant lady would really not be super helpful. I know that the best place for me is right here.
What is so very moving to me though is the kindness of others. Today I have experienced an outpouring of concern and kindness that was very unexpected. I had no idea that so many were aware of our connection to the tragedy but the kind words, prayers, and concerned inquiries have blessed me more than my vocabulary can express. My heart bursts with pride at the kindness of others I've seen. The opening of homes to others, helping others to find someone...just the humble selflessness that is flooding the area.
I'm by no means the only person with personal connection to this tragedy and my heart breaks for those who have lost loved ones and those that are homelss, jobless, or now both. I want to thank all of you who have reached out to my family and my husbands family in kindness and care. It means more than you'll ever know.
May 23, 2011
May 16, 2011
We could all use a little...change.
Currently I am in transition, in many ways now that I think about it. Our family will expand this year, we are seeking a new church/place of worship, I'm adjusting to changes in friendships and family, a new schedule for my family and so on.
But, did I mention, I really don't like change, well I like this kind of change but not this. Granted there aren't oodles of people out there just jumping at the chance for a change in their life but there are some. I don't even like when my favorite lipstick is discontinued (I know I don't paint my nails but I have a favorite lipstick), I just don't like change. Change is so intimidating to me, so cold and permanent. It seems to rip away important things and leave behind something raw and unprotected.
In hindsight, though, I can see a different side of change. Change also molds, and shapes us...sometimes by hacking large chunks off but sometimes by smoothing the roughly hewn edges and splintered joints. When my husband and I left my hometown to move here I was in shock, like bouquet of flowers cut off from their roots and stuck in stagnant water on display. I left everything knew and grew up with ~ family, best friends, jobs ~ what was comfortable...to go somewhere new. If you've read my anniversary blog then you know how bittersweet this was but how then end result was/is an amazing family and a great relationship with my husband.
I feel that once again change is in the air. As we try different churches, I am that new person. Relationships that once were thriving are now out of sight out of mind (me being the one out of sight). My roots seem short and brittle and my instinct is to dig in and resist...to fight the change. But like the changing tides this is a futile task that will only result in more harm to me than anything else. Maybe I'll think like my little four legged friend Ollie and sniff out the new, investigate it and just decide to greet it with a smile!
But, did I mention, I really don't like change, well I like this kind of change but not this. Granted there aren't oodles of people out there just jumping at the chance for a change in their life but there are some. I don't even like when my favorite lipstick is discontinued (I know I don't paint my nails but I have a favorite lipstick), I just don't like change. Change is so intimidating to me, so cold and permanent. It seems to rip away important things and leave behind something raw and unprotected.
In hindsight, though, I can see a different side of change. Change also molds, and shapes us...sometimes by hacking large chunks off but sometimes by smoothing the roughly hewn edges and splintered joints. When my husband and I left my hometown to move here I was in shock, like bouquet of flowers cut off from their roots and stuck in stagnant water on display. I left everything knew and grew up with ~ family, best friends, jobs ~ what was comfortable...to go somewhere new. If you've read my anniversary blog then you know how bittersweet this was but how then end result was/is an amazing family and a great relationship with my husband.
I feel that once again change is in the air. As we try different churches, I am that new person. Relationships that once were thriving are now out of sight out of mind (me being the one out of sight). My roots seem short and brittle and my instinct is to dig in and resist...to fight the change. But like the changing tides this is a futile task that will only result in more harm to me than anything else. Maybe I'll think like my little four legged friend Ollie and sniff out the new, investigate it and just decide to greet it with a smile!
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